I really let this thing go to waste after creating it and using it for a class, and perhaps that is why I could never force myself to update afterward - because it began as an assignment. So I have deleted all of my previous posts and am starting over. And since, right now, only two people are following this thing (and probably inactively doing so) I am going to begin by telling myself about..myself.
Ahem:
I am self-sufficient in ways that make my fellow college students arch their brows or narrow their eyes in bewilderment. They wonder "Why did this girl leave the sunny state of Florida to come to the cold Albany weather bubble?" I left Florida to grow up. I am, naturally, a very sweet girl but it was time for a change. And while I will agree that the weather is bitter and so are the majority of the people who populate this place, I have become someone that I could not have imagined becoming if you stuck the thought in my head while I was asleep. In the two years I have been here I have changed and I have grown but at my core I have realized that the person I am shaping into is a person I like and a person I want to be and that would have never come to me if I did not leave my comfortable shell in Jacksonville.
I am just a little crazy. I am crazy because I thought "hey, I'm really alright at the undergraduate with a part time job thing, why don't I also become a Resident Assistant?" And then I thought again, almost a year later "hey I'm juggling this pretty well and my GPA hasn't suffered at all. I'm not really ready to graduate. Why don't I start working on my Masters before I finish my Bachelors and while I'm at it I can keep both of my jobs?" In this way, I have transformed myself into a tired, exhausted, passionate, nutty circus freak who identifies with Kafka and compares a literary figure to grass that has grown too long and has over powered man-made objects in its path (I swear it's a good comparison). I am plenty insane in other ways that are probably funnier and more relevant, but those instances will most likely reveal themselves throughout my journey in blogging.
I love television. It always makes me feel somewhat ashamed when a fellow student says "I don't really watch TV." I think, maybe I shouldn't either. But then I change my mind because television is AWESOME I watch The Daily Show and the Colbert Report every night if I can. I love terrible shows on Bravo like Real Housewives of New York, and I love Top Chef Just Desserts (though they are really, really dramatic, emotional pastry chefs). I love Criminal Minds. I watch it at every opportunity and I will talk about it until there is nothing left to say - or until my attention shifts to something else like a rumbling stomach or a needy customer. TV is great. It's a nice break from reality, its a good distraction, and it teaches you to be cautious about locking your doors. I think anyone who says, in a snooty tone of voice "I don't watch TV" is a lying little liar or can't watch TV because their head is too far up their own ass.
I hate stupidity. And I don't mean people who aren't really smart. I mean ignorant, childish, people who prank call retail stores, or rip stuff off of bulletin boards or draw genitals on walls that don't belong to them. I don't understand people who, when they find out their friend might have alcohol poisoning, can't get off their phone and sober up enough to help out. I don't get it when people jump to far-off conclusions. I hate, hate, hate, taking words out of context. That is not only stupid, it's irresponsible, and it's insulting (I'm talking to YOU Fox News). Taking a clip of a video out of context and showing just one clip to make your argument seem valid insults my intelligence and compromises your own. But I digress...
I am an English major. And if you know any, it explains a lot about me. In a phone conversation, my mother once said "you have to stop over thinking" to which I stuttered "I can't." Because it's burned into my brain now. In many ways, it's the only way I know how to process anything - from my meal options to what Before the Law is really about. I also love creative writing, and that also takes its toll on a person. To most people, I seem very emotionally open. To be trite, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. But really, I'm very guarded, as if the sleeve I'm talking about is the first layer of clothing, and I'm really only showing you the third or fourth layer, unless I trust you enough to remove them.
Maurice Blanchot says (and I'm paraphrasing) "you write from the mind but feel as if you are bleeding." And it's true.Writing, for me, in any capacity - creatively, analytically, or just this act - makes my fingers still on the key strokes. It makes me nervous and twitchy and I don't want to do it but I'm somehow compelled to do it anyways. My mouse will hover over the "post" button for too long, and I might even decided to delete this several times before shutting my eyes and just doing it. It hurts sometimes, because writing is a revelation even when you don't think it is. But if I'm not bleeding, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm even alive. So at the very core, this blog is for me. And if anyone wants to listen to the rantings and ravings of an exhausted, disgruntled college student who is trying to make her life better, then I guess I'm bleeding for you too.
Ahem:
I am self-sufficient in ways that make my fellow college students arch their brows or narrow their eyes in bewilderment. They wonder "Why did this girl leave the sunny state of Florida to come to the cold Albany weather bubble?" I left Florida to grow up. I am, naturally, a very sweet girl but it was time for a change. And while I will agree that the weather is bitter and so are the majority of the people who populate this place, I have become someone that I could not have imagined becoming if you stuck the thought in my head while I was asleep. In the two years I have been here I have changed and I have grown but at my core I have realized that the person I am shaping into is a person I like and a person I want to be and that would have never come to me if I did not leave my comfortable shell in Jacksonville.
I am just a little crazy. I am crazy because I thought "hey, I'm really alright at the undergraduate with a part time job thing, why don't I also become a Resident Assistant?" And then I thought again, almost a year later "hey I'm juggling this pretty well and my GPA hasn't suffered at all. I'm not really ready to graduate. Why don't I start working on my Masters before I finish my Bachelors and while I'm at it I can keep both of my jobs?" In this way, I have transformed myself into a tired, exhausted, passionate, nutty circus freak who identifies with Kafka and compares a literary figure to grass that has grown too long and has over powered man-made objects in its path (I swear it's a good comparison). I am plenty insane in other ways that are probably funnier and more relevant, but those instances will most likely reveal themselves throughout my journey in blogging.
I love television. It always makes me feel somewhat ashamed when a fellow student says "I don't really watch TV." I think, maybe I shouldn't either. But then I change my mind because television is AWESOME I watch The Daily Show and the Colbert Report every night if I can. I love terrible shows on Bravo like Real Housewives of New York, and I love Top Chef Just Desserts (though they are really, really dramatic, emotional pastry chefs). I love Criminal Minds. I watch it at every opportunity and I will talk about it until there is nothing left to say - or until my attention shifts to something else like a rumbling stomach or a needy customer. TV is great. It's a nice break from reality, its a good distraction, and it teaches you to be cautious about locking your doors. I think anyone who says, in a snooty tone of voice "I don't watch TV" is a lying little liar or can't watch TV because their head is too far up their own ass.
I hate stupidity. And I don't mean people who aren't really smart. I mean ignorant, childish, people who prank call retail stores, or rip stuff off of bulletin boards or draw genitals on walls that don't belong to them. I don't understand people who, when they find out their friend might have alcohol poisoning, can't get off their phone and sober up enough to help out. I don't get it when people jump to far-off conclusions. I hate, hate, hate, taking words out of context. That is not only stupid, it's irresponsible, and it's insulting (I'm talking to YOU Fox News). Taking a clip of a video out of context and showing just one clip to make your argument seem valid insults my intelligence and compromises your own. But I digress...
I am an English major. And if you know any, it explains a lot about me. In a phone conversation, my mother once said "you have to stop over thinking" to which I stuttered "I can't." Because it's burned into my brain now. In many ways, it's the only way I know how to process anything - from my meal options to what Before the Law is really about. I also love creative writing, and that also takes its toll on a person. To most people, I seem very emotionally open. To be trite, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. But really, I'm very guarded, as if the sleeve I'm talking about is the first layer of clothing, and I'm really only showing you the third or fourth layer, unless I trust you enough to remove them.
Maurice Blanchot says (and I'm paraphrasing) "you write from the mind but feel as if you are bleeding." And it's true.Writing, for me, in any capacity - creatively, analytically, or just this act - makes my fingers still on the key strokes. It makes me nervous and twitchy and I don't want to do it but I'm somehow compelled to do it anyways. My mouse will hover over the "post" button for too long, and I might even decided to delete this several times before shutting my eyes and just doing it. It hurts sometimes, because writing is a revelation even when you don't think it is. But if I'm not bleeding, sometimes I'm not sure if I'm even alive. So at the very core, this blog is for me. And if anyone wants to listen to the rantings and ravings of an exhausted, disgruntled college student who is trying to make her life better, then I guess I'm bleeding for you too.
